The Ballad of Glen Ski

By Scotty McFake

Let sybarites1 frae oot the toon
Gang up the brae and hurtle doon
And gad aboot lik ony loon
That canna shift fer brains
And stan in line at ilka tow
And fight their brithers in the snow
And watch the warld and Jimmy go
Like water doon the drains

Frae mornin glow tae evenin licht
A seethin mass o' worms the sicht
A' piste by day and pissed at nicht
A midden buzzed wi flies
Is this what skiin's a' aboot
Jest find a slope and pay it oot
And nivver let us hae a doot
There might be mair tae prize?

In the Glen Shee area: On the way to Lochnaga from Clova via Tolmount 27 April 1986

But a' at Tayside Nordic ken
That "Ski" is not the only glen
There's mair ways tae get up yer ben
Than danglin on a tow
Get oot yer wax, get oot yer skin
Get aff yer arse and move yersin
Noo grip yer poles and get stuck in
An' loipin2 as ye go.

1 Sybarite: a Sassenach or possibly an effete Morningsider
2 It seems unlikely that and author of McFake's temperament can mean "proceeding in the loipe" nor that he can mean "infested with fleas". I am inclined to regard "loipin" as a portmanteau word meaning "leaping with a loipe like stride".

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